When you’ve got nothing cool to write for the Christmas Newsletter

When we have nothing “cool” to write…

I got it last week…the quarterly alumni magazine from my Bible college Alma Mater.  I read about different updates to the campus {a lot has changed in 10+ years}.  Good things are happening!  I feel privileged to be an alumnus.

Then I got to alumni updates section.  I noticed a theme.  Those who send updates about their lives are most often those who work in full time ministry.  Now, my undergrad degree is from a school where their passion was training people for full time ministry.  So it would make sense that the majority of their alumni might be involved in serving in some capacity.  But…I also know many of my former classmates current vocations don’t involve a ministry job title.  And I wondered why they hadn’t sent their updates {a few had…but a very few}.  I know it’s natural when you are raising support or involved in ministry to be more pro-active about sharing what’s happening, but I also wondered if sometimes it can feel like we have nothing “cool” to write for the alumni newsletter {if you’re single…you have even less to share because updates tend to center around jobs, marriage, and kids}.

Then I was talking with a friend who has recently relocated to the Midwest after living in the Middle East.  She said it was so hard this year to get everyone else’s Christmas letters and hear about exciting things they are involved with.  In this season of re-entry it can feel like you have nothing cool to write for your Christmas newsletter.   She said, “no one wants to hear that you survived the year and started counseling” {at least it doesn’t feel appropriate for your Xmas letter}.

As global workers we’ve been conditioned for so long to write about the happenings of our life.  It’s good supporter communication right?  It’s almost like in the back of our head is always this question of “would this be a cool story to share in the newsletter?”

Then we move back “home”…and there’s not as much to write.  Life isn’t so exciting anymore.  No stories of crazy adventures.  No sharing exciting things that are happening in other people’s lives because of our efforts.

As I read that alumni newsletter, I noticed a subtle internal struggle I’ve felt before.  The idea that I am less of a person because I don’t currently work in full time ministry.  I think somewhere in college {or maybe before} I got the idea that God loves everyone, but He especially loves those who serve Him overseas or do something “great” for Him. {I don’t mean to criticize my Alma Mater for this.  Just reflecting on my own internal feelings as I read.}

Finding my identity when I’m no longer working in full time ministry has been a journey for me in the re-entry process.  I moved overseas planning to retire when I was 70 {or at least to be involved in doing some sort of full time ministry even if it didn’t happen to be working overseas}.  And when I found myself back in the states, giving up what I thought was my lifetime goal…I struggled.  I struggled to believe that God could still love me even if I didn’t do anything “important” with my life {I know other things are important…but I realized I had prioritized certain things as more important}.  I struggled to think that I would waste other people’s expectations of me if I didn’t work in ministry.  I felt like God would like me more if I could just figure out what important thing He wanted me to do with my life.  I struggled to believe that God was OK with me going back and working with my family’s business for a season.

It’s important for me to say here that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with working in full time ministry {or sharing about good things that are happening}, and I think that’s exactly where some of us are called to be.  But…sometimes we find ourselves in seasons where that doesn’t make sense.  Where we need a season focused on healing and recovery.  Or it’s a better fit for us to work in a non-ministry job for a myriad of reasons.  This doesn’t mean that we stop serving and investing in the people around us, but suddenly when it’s not a part of our job title….it feels different.   For me {it is different for everyone}, I needed a season where I could just be instead of doing.  Where I could focus on rest, recovery, and finding my identity outside of what I did as a career.

One of the gifts of re-entry for me has been learning to let God love me…just for being me {I’ve known this intellectually for a long time, but I’m feeling it at a heart level that I’ve not been able to before}.  To have the opportunity to accept His love daily even when I don’t feel like I’ve done anything amazing that warrants His love.  I have also been given the gift of building an identity outside of what I do.  As I’ve pieced together my new life, I’ve realized that ministry in this season of my life is less about involvement in a specific project or role and more about being myself and figuring out how to flesh that out in this new place {in who I am and in what I’m involved with}.

Steve Smith {his books have been a HUGE help to me in the re-entry season} in daily reflections for Jan 1st & 2nd talked about what we can learn from seasons where we feel like we are living in obscurity {these quotes are from his book The Jesus Life which I highly recommend.  You can also sign up for daily reflections on soul care here.}

“Words such as obscurity, wilderness and desert may first present unappealing meanings for us. But what we learn is that being hidden, having an extended time in wilderness or living an obscure life has transforming value for us in life. Rather than fearing such times or rejecting such seasons of life as ineffective, we can learn how utterly life-altering they actually can be.” {Steve Smith}